Why is that? Well, you’re navigating a new world honey! The life you knew, that was so synchronized with another, that life was turned upside down when they died. It’s really pretty amazing that you are getting up and getting dressed. Give yourself 10 points for that.
Do you know that in some cultures (not ours, obviously, we’re self-absorbed and very death phobic) the surviving spouse is cared for by the community for a year? They cook, they clean, they wash your clothes, they take care of your kids. Your job is to think through the relationship, to determine the following: what do you want to keep with you, what was valuable that you want to share with others and, more importantly almost, what was negative (or affected others negatively) that you want to bury with the body and leave behind? At the end of the year, the community puts on a big party. The bereaved shares this contemplated knowledge and then they dig a pit and “bury” the things that needed to die with that person (like anger, greed, narcissism, illness).
In our culture we get a few casseroles and sympathy cards and then you’re on our own. That’s a cruel reality to navigate by yourself. It’s easy to shut down. To pretend it’s okay. To go through the motions and just buy into the “at least you had a good life” pacifier.
But pacifiers aren’t food. Any baby can tell you that. A pacifier is something that keeps your mouth busy so you can’t cry out that you’re hungry!
But you are hungry, aren’t you? Hungry for meaning and understanding. Hungry for a future that isn’t sad and lonely. You wish that it was possible…
And it is. It is possible. You just need the right support. You need a proven system that moves you through grief, that lets you understand why it’s so hard to let go. A system that gives you entertaining and fascinating audio courses and recorded meditations that let you breathe out sorrow and take on new ideas. A system that was created by a widow and Certified Grief Recovery Specialist.
NEW THIS SUMMER! RECOVERING TOGETHER: The Widows Recovery System Group. Only $495 for deep support and healing that will last through Labor Day in September! But to insure a great experience for YOU, space is very limited. Check it out and reserve YOUR space today!