After he died, and the cards and casseroles stopped coming, did you find your life got really dark? Did it feel like someone just snapped off all the lights and then removed all the light switches, too? You are calling on all the bravery you have inside you but can bravery alone get you through this?
There’s an old saying that if you fight with reality, you lose. And the reality is that you are in a very dark place. His death isn’t going away. He isn’t coming back. That’s hard to take, it hurts, a lot. No wonder you feel like a blind cave rat.
But here’s a thought I’d like you to hold onto: all new life is born in the dark.
Think about that for a minute.
It’s winter now, but underneath the hard earth daffodils are getting ready to push through and bloom. Babies spend 9 months in the dark of their mother’s womb getting ready to be born.
If it’s a fact that all new life comes from the dark (and it is, you can Google it) then what new life for you might come from this time of darkness?
Here’s an exercise that you can do to become better friends with the dark. I call it “Lap of God” and all of the women I work with love it!
1. Close your eyes & take 3 deep breaths.
2. Now imagine that you are sitting, in a warm, dark room in God’s lap.
3. Push your body against the chair you are sitting in and imagine God’s arms holding you. Just breathe quietly for as long as you can. If your mind presents other thoughts, let them go and refocus on this vision of being held by God. Stay in this space as long as you need to.
4. Before you open your eyes, take in three more deep breaths.
How did that feel to you? All the widows in the Recovery System love this one! Exercises like this are powerful because they let you release fear gently but effectively.
Can bravery alone get you through this?
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